Every once in a while, I like to read a book I know is going to be terrible as a kind of palate cleanser, a way to recallibrate and regroup before diving back into Proper Literature. Mentally copy-editing a bad book is a great exercise and can help you figure out what good writing is (by realising that it is the opposite of whatever this is). My go-to guilty pleasure genre is the Jane Austen spin-off book. You know the ones. What if there were zombies at Longbourne, what if Austen was a vampire, what if a contemporary American girl who is nothing like the author at all what are you talking about suddenly found herself in Regency England… The list goes on.
Austen spin-offs are usually absolutely awful, but in a way, they are much like peanut M&M’s: you know they have no nutritional value and will only leave you feeling slightly depressed and guilty, but you keep buying them anyway because you just can’t quit the sugary goodness.
Folio Society Editon: Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Illustrations by Anna and Elena Balbusso
AUSTEN’S INCOMES: HOW MUCH WAS MR. DARCY WORTH?
What the incomes of the people in Jane Austen´s books are worth today :)
i entered the amounts into an american inflation calculator…in 2013 terms… it’s basically double the 1988 amounts…
Using the same UK National Archives Currency Converter, the 2005 (most recent possible date) equivalent for these characters is listed below, based on the incomes/fortunes determined above.
(view table in new tab to zoom)
For what it’s, er, worth: Jane Austen was paid the following amounts for her books (according to the DNB), provided with their modern-day equivalents:
- £110 for the copyright to P&P — £3,735 in 2005 sterling;
- £320 profit for Mansfield Park — £10,867;
- £140 ‘beside the copyright’ for S&S — £4,754;
- ‘A shocking initial loss of £182 8s. 3d. was set against profits of Emma (£231 1s. 3d.), leaving Austen in her lifetime only £48 13s. to show for her finest novel’ — a profit of £1,652.15;
- Overall: ‘she received something over £631, perhaps as much as £668. It was insufficient for her to support herself by writing’ — for grand, lifetime total profit of not more than £22,685.28.
Fitzwilliam Darcy: Rock Star by Heather Lynn Rigaud
Book Review by the-library-and-step-on-it.
(The first time I have given a book one star on this blog!)
Every once in a while, I like to read a book I know is going to be terrible as a kind of palate cleanser, a way to recallibrate and regroup before diving back into Proper Literature. Mentally copy-editing a bad book is a great exercise and can help you figure out what good writing is (by realising that it is the opposite of whatever this is). Fitzwilliam Darcy: Rock Star is fantastic practice because it manages to do just about everything wrong.
Not only was this book originally a fanfiction. Not only was it badly written fanfiction. Not only was it badly written fanfiction by someone who seems to have completely misunderstood Pride and Prejudice and its characters. It is also a song fic.
[pause for readers to go ‘eurgh, I hate those, everybody hates those’]
According to Amazon’s product description, this book was an “internet phenomenon, inspiring tee shirts, CD’s and thousands of loving fans.” …Really? Because as far as I’m concerned, the writing in this book is exactly why so many people hate fanfiction: overly detailed descriptions of what the characters are wearing, clumsy metaphors, hilariously long sex scenes… The list goes on. And at a whopping 400 pages, it gets old very, very quickly.
I paid two euros for this monstrosity at a book fair and spent two nights cackling to myself over the clunky writing, so at least I had fun. However, it makes other Austen spin-off books like Me and Mr Darcy by Alexandra Potter look like great works of literature. Read my posts on this abomination if you feel like having a bit of a laugh and want to feel better about the quality of your own writing (if this drivel can get published, so can you!), but for the love of God, don’t read the whole thing.
I have read Teen Wolf fanfic better than this.
That should just not happen.
Find more reviews here.
Fitzwilliam Darcy: Rock Star, Heather Lynn Rigaud.
(I KNEW THIS WOULD COME IN HANDY SOME DAY.)
I have started a file of the worst lines I could find in Fitzwilliam Darcy: Rock Star and since it is already quite long, I thought I’d break it up into two posts.
Here are the worst bits of the first 200 (sigh) pages that I haven’t posted already (and that aren’t too pornographic).
(Teaser: “His kindness broke through the thin barrier she had created to hold in her feelings.”)
Fitzwilliam Darcy: Rock Star, Heather Lynn Rigaud.
YOU AND ME BOTH ELIZABETH.
Dear God, it’s even worse than I thought it would be, and that is really saying something considering the cover art.
I thought it was inventive, had some good acting, and was just very adorable and fun.
Elizabeth, Jane, and Charlotte Lucas are in a band too. They’re called Long Borne Suffering (HA!) and Jane has pink hair and wears white leather corsets and I am really starting to regret this.